Mmm, this post really hit home with me. And when I say it hit home, I mean I felt like she read my mind and typed out what I was thinking better than I could've expressed myself.
You see, I tend to err on the strict side as well. Mainly because I figure it's easier to give more privileges and responsibility than to take them away after they have been experienced. Kind of like, you don't know what you're missing until it's gone. If you've never had it, you don't know you're missing out.
Honestly, this is something I've been thinking about for a few weeks. Why do I say "no" so much? I don't want to say "no". I also don't want to have discipline and obedience problems. I want Sam to have fun, to learn and to be obedient and disciplined. Some days are easier, that's for sure. I think at the root of this is my desire to keep some type of control. I do not want to have kids who are out of control.
Anybody else struggle with this?
5 comments:
Actually, I have always found that it was easier for me to be lenient. Our children seemed to just naturally do the "right thing" without a whole lot of direction from my wife and I. Plus, we could always rely on them to quickly respond to our requests; and, we found them to be very obedient. So, hardly ever did we feel that we needed to keep a "tight rein" on them, constantly having to say, "No".
I think that they must have simply bypassed that whole disobedient, rebellious nature that so many parents must confront with their children.
(Yea, right.)
Poppa :)
Wow! I was about to say, "you were gone to work a lot more than I remember because you missed a lot" but then I got to the end of your comment, Poppa.
You girls were and are absolutely wonderful but we definitely did not bypass the disobedient, rebellious nature, with any of you!!
We love you very much!! EeBee
Yea, definitely. I am right there with you. Vale is only 16 months, but I am trying to find a good balance of saying no and letting her be a kid. Obviously, I want her to have an obedient heart and kind actions that flow from that heart...and it's obvious already that she knows what's right and wrong a lot of the time. So, why do I say no so much, and what/where is the balance? I thought that article shed some light on my heart and my selfishness. I am pretty addicted order and control.
Thanks for sharing.
I agree, too, that I would rather say no now and yes later. As hard as it is to be consistent and discipline now, it will pay off. I just keep reminding myself of that...again and again!
I'm with you too. I can't stand bratty children, so I tend to be more on the strict side. But I am really trying to work on being a little more flexible and laid back while still being a disciplinarian. Thanks for sharing...
Well, you know I do struggle with this because you've seen my head-strong little girl! I'm constantly trying to decide if I'm being too strict or spanking too much or whatever. And, I'm hoping it will pay off soon. I feel like you aren't too strict though - I think of you as "rolling with the punches" very well. Sam is very obedient and seems overall happy. Job well done I think!
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