To Sam, On His 4th Birthday

Sam,
I remember walking around our living room having contractions, the night before you were born.
Shoot, I remember the doctor's appointment that got things going with your evacuation. Remember, you were 13 days past your due date. We were more than ready to meet you!
I remember going out to lunch with Michelle at Panera and realizing I was contracting about every 5 minutes.
I remember checking into the hospital.
I remember not sleeping much and being in a lot of pain over night. (Your dad slept like a baby (not really), on a hospital couch, like I instructed him to.)
I remember the doctor who came in to induce me and I remember deciding to go ahead and get the epidural since I was so worn out and figured I end up getting it anyway.
I remember our awesome nurse, Stacey and how your dad and I joked with her in between pushes.
I remember how LONG I had to push to get you into this world.
I remember thinking, "well, yea, of course he's a boy" when your dad announced your gender, because I'd had a feeling the whole pregnancy.

I remember the feeling of amazement when you were laying on my chest for the first time.

You are a blessing to me.
You make me laugh and you make me cry (in a good way, and sometimes in a bad).
You are teaching me what it means to be a mother.
You are teaching me how much young children can comprehend.
You are teaching me more about your dad (since you two are so similar).

You are a tool for God's sanctification in me. (That part is tough but I'm really thankful for it.)
You help me understand more fully His love for me. (Even when I don't do what He wants, or go against what He knows to be best, His love and affection for me is still very present.)

You are so smart. Sometimes it kinda scares me. ;)
You are compassionate, especially with your brothers.
You have a great smile and an awesome laugh.
You always want me to snuggle with you at bedtime.
You're atheletic.
You are so handsome. (I'm sure I'll be meeting lots of "girlfriends" in another 7 or 8 years.)
You are a wonderful brother. Really, you are.
You are extremely perceptive.
You're a great help to me, when you want to be ;).
You can be extremely obedient, complete with nice manners and "above and beyond" behavior. (I love those days!)
Oh my goodness, you are 4.

And I love you so, so stinkin' much.
Thanks for telling me you love me so often.
You say it just like I started off this letter.